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HUMOUR IN SIGNS

BY THE LATE STAN SIMPSON G1ITM.

04 Nov 2014

On October 13 1944 the Durham “Sun” reported that a Durhamite had been brought before a Judge Wilson in a traffic court for having parked his car in front of a sign that read ”NO STOPING”.
Rather than pleading guilty, the defendant argued that the missing letter in the sign meant he had not violated the letter of the law. Brandishing a Webster’s dictionary, he noted that STOPING means extracting ore from a stope, or, loosely, underground”.

“Your Honor,” said the man, “I am a law abiding citizen, and I didn’t extract any ore from the area of the sign. I move that the case be dismissed.” Acknowledging that the defendant hadn’t done any illegal mining, the judge declared the man not guilty and commented, “ Since this is Friday the 13th., anything can happen, so I’ll turn you loose”.

“NO STOPING” is a blunderful example of some of the suspect signs that dot the British and American landscapes. Here are some signs that need to be resigned:

At restaurant-gas stations throughout the U.S.. ‘Eat here and get gas’.

At a Santa Fe gas station: ‘ We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container’.

In a Manchester jewelry store: ‘Ears pierced while you wait’.

In a Liverpool restaurant: ‘Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager’.

In a Chester cafe: ‘The early bird gets the worm! Special shoppers lunch before 11a.m’.

On a supermarket wall: ‘Our best is none too good’.

On a local convent estate wall. ‘Trespassers will be prosecuted. Signed..The Sisters of Mercy’.

On a long established Widnes dry cleaners: ‘38 years on the same spot’.

On a Birkenhead Night Club: ‘Good clean dancing every night except Sunday’.

On a Warrington cinema. ‘Children’s matinee today: Adults not admitted unless with child …….’
(think about it dummy!

In a Liverpool maternity ward: ‘No children allowed”.

Stan G4ITM - August 1992.



Re-published from the Vital Spark, the clubs monthly magazine.
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To read Amateur Radio related articles written by the Hastings Electronics and Radio Club Members, please visit the clubs magazine archive on our official site, the Vital Spark archive containing many interesting, educational and technical pieces:

http://herc-hastings.org.uk/vital-spark-articles/

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